Marshall Rosenberg has pointed out that people often do terrible things because they want someone to know how they feel. There's a great example of this in the newest Star Trek movie. The bad guy Nero is very upset because his home planet was destroyed. He blames Spock and in order to get the empathy he needs he decides he will in turn destroy Spock's home planet. I can't find any clips that show Nero demonstrating this need for empathy, but here's the actor who plays him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y7ZrTlsbok
Drawing by bglasgow, www.flickr.com, CC: attribution sharealike