more on compassionate emailing and texting

So let's suppose you're angry and you feel you HAVE to communicate very soon, and the phone is not an option. The best tip is: 

First call a friend and get a good listening to:

The friend should be someone who:
- listens first
- won't join in with your negative perceptions of the person concerned, but will instead help you get in touch with your unmet needs  
- ideally someone who is skilled in empathic listening 
- with this friend:

• Try to work out what needs of yours you are trying to meet by sending whatever message you now want to send - you may find that you can better meet the need in another way.
• Check out the comments after this post for an example.
• It's good to have an list of empathy friends to call or Skype i.e. people who have agreed to offer this support to you. People often agree to support each other in this way, but this is optional, especially for beginners.

Photo credit: HMV

Compassionate texting

Text messages can be even more difficult than emails to do in a way that connects rather than alientates, especially if you are angry. The saving grace is that they are quite short!

Remember, if in doubt, call!!!

If calling is impossible, consider a question rather than an angry statement. For example, rather than "I told you not to text me on this number!" try instead 

"Do you remember we talked about this being my personal number?"

All the best!


Photo credit: kiwanga www.flickr.com

Compassionate emailing #2

Top tip:
Pick up the phone!

Disadvantages of email:

1. the other person can't hear the tone of your voice, or where you are putting stress in the sentence.
2. you can't hear the other person's reaction, and pause to clarify
3. you can't check of this is a good time for communication

So if at all possible:

•  pick up the phone and ask if this is a good time to talk.
• Or send an email and arrange a time to talk.

Photo credit: www.flickr.com frerieke

Advantages of Skype

* you can SEE the baby
* you can work from home
* sound is great
* it's free ( from www.skype.com)
* you can look at the same screen


Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/goforchris/1356119961/sizes/m/